Pappu Jokes

Pappu went to USA and had a
meeting with OBAMA..
OBAMA : I
want to show you
that how much advance we are
Come with me, He takes him to
a forest.
.
OBAMA : Dig the ground. pappu
did it.
.
OBAMA : More….More…More -…
pappu went upto 100 Feet.
.
OBAMA : So now, try to search
something.
.
Pappu : I got a Wire.
.
OBAMA: You know, it shows that
even 100 years ago we used to
have telephones. Pappu became
frustrated. He
invited OBAMA to India.
Next year OBAMA was in India.
Pappu : I want to show you our
advancement.
The same…he takes OBAMA to a
forest.
Pappu : Dig it... obama does.
.
Pappu : More….More…More -……
OBAMA goes upto almost 400
feet.
.
Pappu :Try to find something.
OBAMA tries Pappu : Did you get
anything?
.
OBAMA: No, there is nothing
here.
.
Pappu: you know, it shows that
even 400 years
ago, we used to have WIRELESS
mob !!!
Obama shockd pappu rockd!!!!

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Pappu - ek liter aata dena
Dukandar - aata kilo mai aata hai liter mai nahi
Pappu - is botel mai ek kilo aata dena
Dukandar - aby tune muje pagal ker diya hai ab tu dukan per beth or mai grahk banta hu
Ek kilo aata dena
.
Pappu - botel laye ho

Toko like pappu ustad per

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Pappu ne apne aalsi nakur se kaha - tum khali bathe ho itne machher gun guna rahe hai inhe mar girao
.
Thodi der baad
Pappu - aby tujse kaha to tha machhero ko mar de
Ye to abhi bhi gun guna rahe hai
.
Nakur - sahab machhro ko to mene mar diya
Ye to un machhro ki vidhva biwiya hai jo ro rahi hai

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Munna Bhai And Circuit Jokes

Munna bhai: "Circuit, agar bus pe tu
chade, ya fir tujpe bs chadJaye 2
kya hoga"!!
Circuit: "bole 2 bhai,dono baar ticket
apani hi kategi.

hahahaha

***********************

Best Hindi Jokes

Shortest poem
evER...

Baba black sheep have u any wool..??
.
.
Sheep: Ja na bey dhakkan...

*********************


Ek Aunty Coke pee rahi thi,
Tabhi usme ek Keeda gir gaya…
 Aunty ne us keede ko bahar nikala,
to keeda bola: Maaaa
Aunty boli: Tune mujhe maa kyun kaha?
 Keeda bola: Kyunki Main teri Koke (???) se Nikla
hoon, Maa !

***********************


1 Molvi aur Pathan ne Samandar ke kinary Board dekha jispe likha tha

"DOOBTY KO BACHANY WALY KO 500 ka INNAM"

MOLVI: Main jump lagata hun tum muje bachana is tarha 500 milenge hum fifty fifty ker lengy.

Ye keh kar Molvi ne jump laga di.

Pathan Khamoshi se daikhta raha to molvi ne chilla ke kaha:"Muje Tairna nhi aata tum mje bachate kyun nahi?

PATHAN: Tum ne board ke neeche nahi parha, neeche likha tha

"LAASH NIKALNE WALY KO 2000 KA INAAM":D

***********************


Kambal Aur Razai ko karo Maaf,
Cooler Aur A.C kar Lo saaf, Paseena chutega Din aur
Raat
Ab Bina Nahaaye Nahi Banegi Baat,
Apne Nature Mein rakho NARMI,
Meri Taraf se Aapko Sabhi ko....... "HAPPY-GARMI"

***********************

In engineering exam a question
came
A parrot sits on an elephant and the
elephant died. Prove it.
.
.
.
.
.
Engineer answer:
assume that elephant name was
parrot and
the parrot name was
elephant...:p;) :D


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HOSPITAL ATTENDENCE:
LANGDA
Present Sir,
KANA
Present Sir
ANDHA present sir,
MENTAL
MENTAL
:
:
:
:
:
Beta status Baad Me Pad Liyo,
Teri Absent Lag Jayegi...D :D


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Ek kanjus k ghar mehman aaey hua y thay.
Kanjus: Thanda peo ge ya garam?.
Mehman: Thanda.
Kanjus: Rooh Afza ya Pepsi?.
Mehmaan: Pepsi .
Kanjus: Bottle mein peo gay ya glass me?.
Mehmaan: Glass me..
Kanjus: simple glass me ya design wala?.
Mehmaan: Design wala.
Kanjus: Lines wala ya flowers wala.
Mehman: Flowers wala.
Kanjus: Gulaab wala ya chambeli wala.
Mehman: Chambeli wala.
Kanjus: Sorry Yaar hamaray ghar me aisa glass nahi hai.....

********************


Aansu tapak pare berojgari ke us ehsaas se gaalib..
.
.
Jab maa ne kaha beta khali baitha hai ye le matar hi chil de....
Hahahahahahah

*************************


Gawaar : Ye Tv Kitne Ka Hai.
Salesman- Hum Gawaaro Ko Koi
Chiz Nahi Bechte..

Gawaar After 1 Month clean Shave
... &hair cut, : Ye Tv Kitne Ka Hai..
Salesman: Hum Gawaaron ko Koi
Chiz Nahi Bechte..

Gawaar After 1 Month Full angrez
banke: WHAT'S D COST OF THAT TV??
Salesman : Hum Gawaaron ko Koi
Chiz Naahi Bechte..

Gawaarr Gusse Me: Tujhe Kaise
Pata Chal Jata Hai Ki
mai Gawaar Hu..?
Salsman: Q ki Ye Tv Nahi
"MICROWAVE"Hai.....:o

******************************


After Accident: American:" Its Fine Man..
.
British:" I am So Sorry
.
Australia:" No Worries Dude
.
Germany:" Are You Okay... ??
.
.
.
.
India:" Andha hai kya saale dhakkan ki tarha chala raha hai
akkal ke dushman saale tere baap ka
road hai kya bahar nikal dekh teri kaise
bajata hun..:p

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Train me 1 ladke ne T.T.E. Se
kaha
"Mujhe subah 4 baje patiala utha
dijiyega,agar main na jagu to
jabardasti utaar
dijiyega.
Muje subah interview dena hai."
Subah 8 baje ladka jaga to patiala
nikal gaya tha !
Ladka TTE ko maa bahen ki
gaaliyaan dene lga......!
Logo ne TTE se kaha ke wo apko
gaaliyaan de raha hai
aur aap chup-chap sun rahe hai.!!

. TTE- Main ye soch raha hun ki
.
.
Subah jisko maine Zabardasti utaar
diya hai
Woh kitni gaaliyaan de raha
hoga......
**********************************


Ek chor 1 crore rupies aur bahut
gold chori karke bhag rahatha,
.
Ek gunge,
bahre insan ke ghar ghus gaya,
Maal udhar rakh kar bola"Kal aakele jaoonga". . Dusre din gaya,
Maal vahan nahin tha,
Puchha to gunga aise ishare karta
mano wo kuch nahin janta.
.
Chor apne ek aise dost ko le aaya jo gungo ki bhasha janta tha.
.
Chor Bola"isko puchh maal
kahanhai bata de nahin to shoot kar dunga.".
Gunga darr gaya aur apni bhasha mein bola,
. "Ghar ke pichhe jo tree hai uske niche. "Chor ko kuch samjah nahi aaya.
Usne Dost se puchha"Kya bolta hai??
.
Dost :-"Bolta hai goli marde,
Main nahin bataunga..:P =D:P :D .
. Jisko Samajh Me Aaya Bas LiKE thoko
Baaki dubara padho :D

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Pinku gaon Sasural Gya Uski Sas N Use 7din Tak Subeh-Sham Palak Ki Sabzi Khilyi
.
.
.
8ve Din Pucha Kya
Khaoge..?

Pinku-Khet Dikha Do Khud Hi
Char Aunga..!

*********************************


Maa:" Baal kyu nahi katwata.. ??
.
.
.
Ishant Sharma:" Yo Mom It's fashion..
.
.
.
Maa:" Wo to theekh hai par" Log Teri Behen
ke liye aate hai..
aur Tujhe Pasand kar jate hai :D

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English Jokes

An airplane was about to crash; there were 5
passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger said, "I am President Obama, the
chosen one. The world needs me, I can't afford to
die." So he took the first parachute and left the plane. The second passenger, Julia Gillard, said, "I am the
prime Minister of Australia and I am the smartest
woman in Australian history, so Australia's people
don't want me to die." She took the second
parachute and jumped out of the plane. The third passenger, John Kerry, said, "I'm a Senator,
and a decorated war hero from the Army of the
United States of America ." So he grabbed the
parachute next to him and jumped. The fourth passenger, ex-President George W. Bush,
said to the fifth passenger, a 10-year-old schoolgirl,
"I have lived a full life, and served my country the
best I could. I will sacrifice my life and let you have
the last parachute. "The little girl said, "That's okay, Mr. President. There's
a parachute left for you. Australia 's smartest woman
took my schoolbag.

*************************************

A man for post of Security Guard was interviewed:
"We want someone with a suspicious mind, always on high alert, wanting to attack, strong body, high sense of hearing & most importantly Killer instinct.! Do u think u are eligible?"
Man:"No Sir! But can my Wife apply? :D

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Justin Bieber was arrested this morning for using Men's Toilet. :p
.
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CID Jokes

Rin lagaya or daag gaya
Wah Wah
Rin lagaya or daag gaya
waah waah
Abhijeet: Daya lagta hai,
Khooni bhaag gaya.

************************


Disco:- Bar mein kyu hai Dhamaal...??
.
.
.
Disco:- Bar mein kyu hai Dhamaal.....?
.
.
A.C.P bola: Daya , surakshit kaale mere baal , Vasmol ne kiya kamaal...

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Ye Kya Bakch*di hai Bc😂

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